The Story of Germonie
by Kaydiane
Summary: Warning! This will cause a LOT of cringe! But it is a Germany and Hermione fanfiction base off a crazy mispronunciation of Germany's name. Read at your own risk and nothing in this is to be taken seriously! In other words pure crack at its finest.
1. How Germonie Came to Be

**AN: This is very poorly written and nothing is to be taken seriously. This is just for the people who like to laugh at stupidly written things like this.**

 **Germany's pov.**

Germany has never laid his eye on a prettier girl. But she was young and he was old man. So he would have to do the next best thing… MAKE HIM LOOK AROUND THE GIRL'S AGE! But how…

England! YES! He does magic stuff and he will make him young. "ENGLAND!" Germany shouted successfully making the Brit spill tea all over himself. "WHAT THE BLOODY _HECK!_ "

"ENGLAND I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE TEENAGER!" Germany shouted! "Well if that's all you want then ok!" England responded calmly.

And then all of the sudden _SHUBHAM_ Germany was teen! Now he can be with pretty girl.

After Germany was teenafied he went to find the pretty girl!

 **Hermione's pov.**

Hermione was having not to good day because redhead boy keep saying his usual stupid poop again and then- WHO WAS THAT BLOND HOTTIE!

He was sooooo hot, _hot_ , **HOT!** I couldn't help myself but approach him and make talk with him.

"HELLO, I'm Harmonies! And you are?" I asked him and he responded "Oh I'm-a Ludwig! You are very pretty girl be with me 4-EVER!"

I was shocked that he asked ME to be with him 4-EVER! I couldn't help myself but say "YES I WILL BE WITH YOU **4-EVER!** "

 **Narrator's pov.**

And with that Hermione and Germany got married on the spot and they are now known as what we know them as today. Germonie.

And they lived happily ever after or at least until Hermione got old and died of diabetes where Germany mourned over her death for a day until moving on to the next girl. But nobody saw the jealous Italian saying "I should have been the one to be with Germany not that _human._ "

 **AN: For every ship there needs to be a story this is Germonie's story ~Author 2017**

 **If whoever reads this wants more I have two more chapters just like this to add to this. The next chapter would be the revenge of the Italian. Ya guys just got to let me know that you want more. Also I wrote this back in 2017 but I am now just publishing this at the insistence of my friends.**


	2. The Revenge Of The Italian

**Italy's pov.**

The moment that I saw Hormones (That's her name right?) with Germany I knew that I had to stop them! It wasn't possible for a nation and a _Human_ to live together!

I would have to kill Hermione and then steal Germany for myself. I need some help tho.

I have to make her death look like an accident. But who to ask, who to ask for help… THAT'S IT! IggY! I will ask Iggy for help!

*Knock Knok Nock* "OHHHH ENGLAND! I NEED YOUR HELP!" I shouted not even waiting for England to answer the door.

"Italy why are you always so loud. You're going to gives mes a heat egg." England said with a present frown on his face. "Your good with magic so can you whip me up a aging potion?"

England didn't ask why nor did he seem pleased with what he was aboot to do but he nodded his head. He went into his house and emerged with a potion in hand.

"Your lucky that I even had one left on hand. Use it wisely and if I hear that you tried using it on a human I will find you and kill you!" England said grumpily and running back into his house and closing the door.

I knew that I couldn't let England find out so I needed someone who knew how to make murder look like it was natural. Maybe a disease of some sort…

AMERICA! He would know how people can get diabetes. Now I just need to pay him a visit.

"OHHHHHH AMERICA! HOW DO HUMANS GET DIABETES?" I shouted running up to his door.

"YO wuts up dud!? Humans get diabetes by eating too much yuck food! To answer that question." America sounding excited when taking to the Italian.

"Thanks America! Good bye!" I said already heading away from him I know it is only a matter of time till I kill Hormones.

When I got back to my country I went and fined Hermit Crab. "Hey Hermione!" I shouted at her. I had a bag a jelly beans covered in the aging potion for her to eat. If she ate them then she would become _very_ old and get diabetes! How great would that be!

"Hey there Valicon! How are you?" She asked with a kind smile. I was lucky enough to catch her away from Germany for a few minutes at the most.

"I have some jelly beans for you to eat!" I said with fake enthusiasm in my voice and shoved that bag into Hermonkeys hands.

"Eat them eat them all!" She looked a little freaked out by this but she started eating them. I secretly hoped that she would choke on one and drop dead.

After she finished the bag she looked a little green in the face and fainted. I made no move to try to slow her fall to the ground and watched happily as she fell. She started to age rapidly from a young girl to old woman.

"Good now you stay there and I will go hide in the bushes to see Germany's reaction." I said smiling evilly.

A few minutes later Germany came and found her. "HOMEDINES" He screamed as he ran to her side. To nations humans lives are short and pass in a blink of an eye. I am fortunate enough to get away with murdering her.

I proceeded to watch the _human_ die in Germany's hands. I felt a little guilty for making Germany go through the grief of losing someone dear to him but… I COULD MAKE HIM 10 TIMES MORE HAPPIER THAT THAT _HUMAN_ COULD EVER MANAGE.

I went up to comfort Germany. "There there Germany this is why we don't love humans they die too easily… YOU CAN LOVE ME INSTEAD!" I said and after saying that Germany did look a little better after I said that.

"Well why not!" Germany said why getting off the ground and disregarding Hippomotos body in the process.

We could now be together FOREVER! Just how I like it!

The End Again

 **AN: There is one more chapter I can post if you guys really want it. I apologize for not posting this one sooner. If I were to post the next chapter it wont talk as long as it took to post this chapter. I probably will post it later tho. Hope ya enjoyed this!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I have had this chapter done for a while now. I have have been meaning to upload it sooner but I kinda forgot to do that. Anyway now its up. This story is done. I don't even know why I wrote this. Anyway enjoy your crack! I even gave this story a cover! I made it myself! I put a whole 10 minutes into it!**

England's Findings

England's pov.

I woke up with bad feeling. To have bad feeling in early morning is bad. I did the only reasonable thing. I went to the magic chicken bone to see why I be having bad feeling in the morning.

"Ohhh magic chicken bone why do I have bad feeling in the early morning!" I asked it. I waited a few minutes for its answer.

I knew my question would be answered because it started to glow rainbows! It showed me why I was getting bad feelings in the morning. I saw Italy putting MY aging potion on some random jelly beans and he gave THEM to the human girl! Her name was Hoboine if i was correct.

Italy was NOT to give the aging pot to humans! HE DUN DON GOOFED! This meant that I would have to do some findings to reverse the now freshly dead girl that died from diabetes.

If I remember any spells that bring back dead peps to life then I would need the body of the dead pep that I want to bring back.

"Ohhh mystical and magical chicken leg plz tell me where I can find the body of Herchi!" I asked the chicken leg again. And again the chicken leg told me the place of the body.

I found the body surrounded by the police. They had it on lock down. I would have to distract the police and snage le body.

"Hello officer what happened here?" I think I played it really cool and slick, just like how I look. "It appears that this old woman has dropped dead on the streets. She had a bad case of diabetes and it seems she was choking on a jelly bean too." The officer responded. "Tis be the season to choke on jelly beans." I said, still playing it cool. "Yep." Was all I got in return.

Now just have to slip by and snag the body unsuspiciously… "MINE!" I screamed pushing the officer down and taking the body while I ran off back to my house. Nice and cool. I bet not even one officer noticed that I took the body! What luck!

Tossing the body into the middle of my star thingie. I chanted my spell to bring her back to life. "Dead, Dead, Dead, ALIVE!"

Herminggle slowly opened her i's and looked around and asked "Where am I and where is Ludwig my hottie husband?" She spoke! I didn't think she would speak so soon!

"Ah to answer your question Hickpuff, you are in me basement and you were dead." I said. "Ok well I'm going to go find my hottie husband!" Herlo said getting off the ground. "OWCHIE! MY HIP!" Oh yea forgot she was still old woman from the stupid italian!

"Do not worry my dear drink this green stuff and you will be good." She downed it without second thought and turned back to young girl. "Well I thank you green eyed man! I better be off now! Better not keep my hottie waiting!" And she was off! Shooting off like a rocket! And she broke my roof! Darn I'll have to fix that later.

Now for the italian that disobeyed my rule! I will need to punish him… How about I make him have a mustache? Don't italians have things against that hairiness on the lip?

I got a pot that will give him the most hairiness lip that a person could ever want!

"HEY! ITALY! I have a new pasta flavored tea! Drink it! Drink it now!" Yas a great way to lure the Italian into drinking the mustache pot! "Ve~ Ok England!" He took the pot and drank it in one big gulp! "YAK! That is not pasta flavored!" I smirked at the mustache that grew! "Ve? Wat is this on my lip!?" Italy felt his lip and his eyes widened at the hair he felt. "Is this-a mustache!? NOOOOoooOOooOoOo! IM RUINED! GERMANY WILL NEVER LOVE ME NOW!" I smiled as Italy rolled on the ground crying about the mustache.

At this point Hinckley and Germany walked through the door holding hands and making those love eyes on eachother. Disgusting! This is not my area of expertise so I like leave them be.

"Germany? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Italy said. "Gah! WHO ARE YOU STRANGER! Leave me and my amazing wife alone!" Germany said, not seeing that it was his Italy. Italy gave a pout and got up to leave. As he left he thought to himself 'So that brat lives! I will have to change that…'

Narrator's pov.

This is how Italy lost the love of his life to the human... Again. Come on Italy! How do you even lose Germany twice! Anyway Italy vowed to kill Hermione even if it meant to get rid of the body this time. He would start working on the plan to kill her. After he takes care of his newly sprouted mustache that is.

The End For reals this time!


End file.
